American Idol – Week One, Night Two

Going to be quick and durrty tonight.  My parents had some computer trouble, so I went to their place to investigate.  Stayed for dinner and the show.  I normally like to rant live, but life happens.

– Top 12 Women tonight.  They can’t be worse than the guys.

– We  start with a recap of the guys.  Didn’t watch?  I did, so click here to read the recap.

– Everyone seems to be in denial over how awful the guys were.  Kind of sad.

– Seacrest tries to cut down Randy.  Jerk.  Randy was in this band:

– More of Seacrest trying to stir the pot.  I hope this does not become a recurring pattern.

– First up is Stephanie.  She’s 19, but looks 29.  She cries during her interview.  Guh.  Her version of Alica Keys’ “How Come You Don’t Call Me Anymore” wasn’t perfect, but definitely set the tone.  Better than any of the guys.  Randy says America will see the difference between the genders tonight.  Burn.  See-moan: “It looks like you came out and said ‘I want to win American Idol.'”  Well-put.

– Seacrest and the ladies are in the Sponsored Cola Lounge as everyone lies about the goodness of the guys.

– How can I describe Amy’s rendition of “I Can’t Make You Love Me?”  I say “pedestrian.”  Randy calls it middle of the road.  See-moan calls her “forgettable.”  Who??

– Dog-walker Leslie does a Dusty Springfield-esque version of Carole King’s “(You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman.”   She’s there.  Cute.  Good stage presence.  But…bland.  Randy gives me an idea for a future post: Singers and Songs to Not Perform on American Idol.  Coming soon.

– Wait…what?  Sabrina is a professional singer?  GET OFF THE SHOW!!!!  What the hell?

– At least she did a good job of a song I can’t name.  Ah well.  Best of the competitio so far.  Judges liked it across the board.

– Sabrina says she didn’t want to sing a pure ballad because they don’t work.  Hmmm…

– Next up is Skankilicious Antonella,  who apparently, had someone take a photo of her urinating.  I won’t link to it.  Or the picture of her and her friends topless on the beach.  Enjoyed both, but this is a family-friendly site, you see.

– Skankilicious does a ballad.  And it stinks.  Unfortunately, it was one of my favorite ballads, “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing,” by Aerosmith.  It was seriously one of the worst performances ever on this show.  The judges tell her she’s pretty.  She’s Veronica.  I always liked Betty more.  Randy busts out the line of doom: “What do you think I’m going to say?”  She’s done.  Here’s how the song should sound:

– Back in the Sponsored Cola Lounge, Jordin pontificates on being 17.  Her upbeat rendition of Tracy Chapman’s “Gimme One Reason” is well above average, for sure.  I enjoyed it.  Judges want her to push herself moving forward.  Works for me.

– Time for Nicole, a voice major.  And apparently, an overachiever.  For me though, she ruins Chaka Khan.  Paula  completely disagrees with me, but to each their own.

– Hayley reminds me of a less-processed Katherine McPhee.  Mini-rant: A few years ago, DC Comics had a character who was a “golden boy” superhero.  He did everything right, said all the right things, had a shiny costume, but didn’t have the heart because he had never lost anything or done anything wrong.  Basically, he was a nice guy doing all the right things, but he was ultimately flawed because he was too perfect.  That’s Katherine McPhee.

– Back to Hayley.  Her “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” was a big hit with my family, but not  the judges.  On hearing it again, I side more with the judges this time.  She’s got the talent, but needs a better song to showcase her voice.  The song was apparently inspired by my least-favorite high school lit book.

– Our back-up singer Melinda Doolittle OWNED it!  She has officially left the Supremes to become Diana Ross.  Powerful, fun, engaging…everything it needed to be.  It was a “real world” performance of Aretha’s “Since You’ve Been Gone” (not to be confused with Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone”).  Awesome.

– Crying Alaina chooses a GREAT song that is TERRIBLE for this competition, The Pretenders’ “Brass in Pocket.”  It just doesn’t present her skills properly.  It’s a flat song.  Not a bad performance, per se, just the wrong song to sing.  See-moan points out the irony of the line, “I’m special,” being repeated in a performance that wasn’t.

– That brings us to Gina, who hated Perla.  We dislike Gina for that reason alone.  Her “All By Myseld” wasn’t my cup of tea, but the judges seemed to like it.  How about an “American Bandstand” version?

Check out his hair…THAT’S OLD SCHOOL!

– We end with LaKisha, who’s living in Ft. Meade, MD.  Yeah, local ties!

– Best performance of the season so far.  “And I’m Telling You…” from Dreamgirls.  Ballsy song choice to do this song just a few months after former Idol contestant Jennifer Hudson did it in the movie adaptation of the show.  Judges gush as she gets the standing ovation.  The bar was raised to a new level.  Wow!  See-moan thinks about telling the other 23 to go home now.  Happy birthday to LaKisha’s daughter!

Most Valuable Performer: LaKisha, obviously.  Props to Melinda, as well.

Results tomorrow!